I tried. I tried actually for the third time to watch Rockstar INXS. I could only watch about five minutes. When did Dave Navarro become the lap dog to a dead band. Sorry Hutchins fans. Dave has the ammount of make up that could rival Rupaul. Regardless, there are a couple things that bother me the most. One is that no one says anything bad to these people...my first comment would be WHY ARE YOU FIGHTING TO BE APART OF INXS?!
You have one guy that looks like an extra from The Birdcage and another that looks like well, he sleeps in one while wearing a diaper or whatever floats his boat. The whole image of rock is being ostracized and I don't like it. It's fine for pop to be pop but when rock goes this route we are only moments away before we see more glam rock poser crap.
I learned to be "sexy" you need to be in tight pants. Let me tell you this. I need my space, and that starts with my pants. That reason alone I am not ever going to wear Wrangler jeans. OK that doesn't relate very well to this entry but whatever.
I saw some trademark blonde in the pit drooling at the feet of potential. That's the true way of life. If you can't get yourself, then sleep with someone who you can live through vicarously.
~~~~~~~~~
I am back to watching the Real World Austin. It is at the point in the season where the sexual laziness has set in and now all are hooking up with eachother. On the episode tonight I got to witness the parental "be above that" pep talk about their kid not standing up for themself after being called a tramp or woman that gives it up like sorority gal after a couple free beers (wow that was a circular metaphor- did you follow?) By the way I know not all sorority girls are like that- some aren't hot, and others are trying to go pre-med. I just wish for her sake she would stay in lighting that doesn't make her head look huge.
Back to the lecture at hand. They all crazy, horny and poised for middle management at best.
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
Sunday, August 28, 2005
No Fillers
Holy crap what a weekend. First off, those of you who know how much of an avid board game dork I am best know I played Cranium (best game ever- yes I am confident saying that) and Catch Phrase. Good time but not even the focal point of the weekend.
My friend bought like 1/4 a cow. Not a 1/4 pounder, a fraction of the damn cow. It's amazing how in one swoop of the clever that he became more manly than any preconcieved image of John Wayne. Although Wendy's claims to have a fresh burger, this was so fresh the cow's mother was still morning the loss. I know that's rough to say but those who are offended should go hug a kitten because well you should know where I am going with this.
God bless red meat. That shit is good. My friend was at the grill for hours, and unlike other cook outs it wasn't spent starting the grill. It had the pot luck accessory vibe where we all brought side dishes. I bought mine like a good little bachelor. Thanks Sara Lee. Once the whole spread was set I felt the urge to join a crusade and go kill some vikings or something to justify the massive ammounts of food that inspire conversation about how good it is to be yourself.
Some other guy brought Hungarian sausages. I added a new sausage to my tastebud inventory of brat, Polish, or Italian. It's a product who's aftertaste is better than initial taste in my opinion. Regardless, I enjoyed.
The only downside to the cookout wat the arch ememy of all summer activity- the bee. Someone needs to kill them. Seriously, we have scientists that get off on cross pollenating. There was one bee that will always follow me at the party. The one that goes from inside my drink to on my food to under my chin and then touchdown dance on my nose saying bzzz you my bzzzitch. No go look like a wacko runnning around flapping at something 300 times smaller than you.
~~~~~~
Don't call it a come back. I just saw MC Hammer on the VMA's. See the Surreal Life can help people. I can't wait until the tour when 50 opens for Hammer.
~~~~~~
Robert Downey Jr got married. Even though he has been out of detox for some time this shows he is still a glutton for punishment.
~~~~~~
I hear that they are considering a sequel to Office Space. I just hope Jennifer Anniston hasn't lost touch with that inner bubbly waitress she does so well.
My friend bought like 1/4 a cow. Not a 1/4 pounder, a fraction of the damn cow. It's amazing how in one swoop of the clever that he became more manly than any preconcieved image of John Wayne. Although Wendy's claims to have a fresh burger, this was so fresh the cow's mother was still morning the loss. I know that's rough to say but those who are offended should go hug a kitten because well you should know where I am going with this.
God bless red meat. That shit is good. My friend was at the grill for hours, and unlike other cook outs it wasn't spent starting the grill. It had the pot luck accessory vibe where we all brought side dishes. I bought mine like a good little bachelor. Thanks Sara Lee. Once the whole spread was set I felt the urge to join a crusade and go kill some vikings or something to justify the massive ammounts of food that inspire conversation about how good it is to be yourself.
Some other guy brought Hungarian sausages. I added a new sausage to my tastebud inventory of brat, Polish, or Italian. It's a product who's aftertaste is better than initial taste in my opinion. Regardless, I enjoyed.
The only downside to the cookout wat the arch ememy of all summer activity- the bee. Someone needs to kill them. Seriously, we have scientists that get off on cross pollenating. There was one bee that will always follow me at the party. The one that goes from inside my drink to on my food to under my chin and then touchdown dance on my nose saying bzzz you my bzzzitch. No go look like a wacko runnning around flapping at something 300 times smaller than you.
~~~~~~
Don't call it a come back. I just saw MC Hammer on the VMA's. See the Surreal Life can help people. I can't wait until the tour when 50 opens for Hammer.
~~~~~~
Robert Downey Jr got married. Even though he has been out of detox for some time this shows he is still a glutton for punishment.
~~~~~~
I hear that they are considering a sequel to Office Space. I just hope Jennifer Anniston hasn't lost touch with that inner bubbly waitress she does so well.
Sunday, August 21, 2005
323
Tap tap good morning
tap tap tap
five fallen grey initiates
spoken by broken
faced red with you
tomorrow leaks by
answers on the stoop
disection jokes back
as miss nomer feels
out crowds of
doubters
work on it they say
it's a process of pain
worth scars that maim
fossilized screams scorn
full frontal potential
she talks he balks
whispers that drown
out after being
outraged with being
born at all
tired of running?
reasons fall with every
gasp of truth fear and mortality
reaching for fallen pacifier
crawling face forward
with parental remorse
time will come to bury
a final hour's burden
good night
tap tap tap
five fallen grey initiates
spoken by broken
faced red with you
tomorrow leaks by
answers on the stoop
disection jokes back
as miss nomer feels
out crowds of
doubters
work on it they say
it's a process of pain
worth scars that maim
fossilized screams scorn
full frontal potential
she talks he balks
whispers that drown
out after being
outraged with being
born at all
tired of running?
reasons fall with every
gasp of truth fear and mortality
reaching for fallen pacifier
crawling face forward
with parental remorse
time will come to bury
a final hour's burden
good night
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
And That's a Wrap
Summer is over for me now. I have concluded my responsibilities to three weddings and one Christianing. Now I can say that my church attendance is up. Not that it matters. It's strange this whole lingering feeling of big events. Once someone has one we are all spent sharing the moment with them and then speculating who is next.
Within the process of the reception, in my opinion the tossing of the bouquet and garder are the biggest lines of BS that we enforce. All it does is give some girl the right a way to turn down the one way road of eternal dreaming. When will her big day come? My favorite thing about the catch is the immediate look into the crowd of men like she is at the pet store. "Ooh ooh, I want the funny looking one that keeps squinting." If they go home it's only a matter of time before becoming a lap dog.
Guys care less about the garder. Yep, we use it as a token to show some gal that "we're next." If you're buying that vibe, let me tell you about a great timeshare we have too. Look marriage comes to each in ways that are often unique. I used to resist the concept of marriage. I even told girls that I never want to get married. That scares a girl off as quick as telling a guy that you like cats does.
I like the concept that we say you marry you dad or mom. Sounds about right. We are as kinky, insestual, homocurious as they come. This is the only time that we willingly install that image in our children's mind. I know that the intention is to focus on the personality but you can't but superimpose the face of your sweet pea into the body of your parent.
I can say more about this but I have 1. stuff to do and 2. now become nausious by my own posting.
Within the process of the reception, in my opinion the tossing of the bouquet and garder are the biggest lines of BS that we enforce. All it does is give some girl the right a way to turn down the one way road of eternal dreaming. When will her big day come? My favorite thing about the catch is the immediate look into the crowd of men like she is at the pet store. "Ooh ooh, I want the funny looking one that keeps squinting." If they go home it's only a matter of time before becoming a lap dog.
Guys care less about the garder. Yep, we use it as a token to show some gal that "we're next." If you're buying that vibe, let me tell you about a great timeshare we have too. Look marriage comes to each in ways that are often unique. I used to resist the concept of marriage. I even told girls that I never want to get married. That scares a girl off as quick as telling a guy that you like cats does.
I like the concept that we say you marry you dad or mom. Sounds about right. We are as kinky, insestual, homocurious as they come. This is the only time that we willingly install that image in our children's mind. I know that the intention is to focus on the personality but you can't but superimpose the face of your sweet pea into the body of your parent.
I can say more about this but I have 1. stuff to do and 2. now become nausious by my own posting.
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
Tone Death
I finally have released Sprint from the grasps of my spine and reproductive organs. There is something to be said about cancelling your cell phone. Yes, I have such a distaste for your interpretation of quality that I am willing to pay $150 to say not on my buck.
Within my tenure with Sprint, I, like many paid for ring tones. Sure, $1 or so and now I don't have that pesky phone sound coming out of my damn phone. I ruined four solid songs because of my craving of pop trends. Never will I be able to listen to all of "Cecilia" because I will experience flashbacks to screeming WHAT?!.
I had the tones that were me, yet a little more about the attention. Hey Hey...HEY EVERYONE!!! MY PHONE...IT"S RINGING!! PRETTY SWEET HUH?! WHAT?! YOU ALL HAVE CELL PHONES TOO?! WELL DOES YOURS PLAY 50 Cent? Look dillhole, pick up the phone. The point of the phone is to let you communicate with someone. If I wanted to hear the same 8 seconds of a song I will turn on MTV.
This is just the start there will be something new. Like now people can pay to eliminate the ringing on the phone. Now music is played until somebody picks up the phone. Ring tones just give us all another false sense of coolness just like tanning salons and teeth whitening.
The embarrassment that follows is now when no one looks. Remember when only rich white people could afford car alarms? That don't mean jack now. Regular chumps like yours truly can push the panic button on their ride. Only of course to drown out the people who talk so loud they defeat the purpose of the phone all together.
If you have downloaded a ring tone in the past few months I have news for you. Hurry to the GAP I hear there will be a new color scheme for stripes.
Within my tenure with Sprint, I, like many paid for ring tones. Sure, $1 or so and now I don't have that pesky phone sound coming out of my damn phone. I ruined four solid songs because of my craving of pop trends. Never will I be able to listen to all of "Cecilia" because I will experience flashbacks to screeming WHAT?!.
I had the tones that were me, yet a little more about the attention. Hey Hey...HEY EVERYONE!!! MY PHONE...IT"S RINGING!! PRETTY SWEET HUH?! WHAT?! YOU ALL HAVE CELL PHONES TOO?! WELL DOES YOURS PLAY 50 Cent? Look dillhole, pick up the phone. The point of the phone is to let you communicate with someone. If I wanted to hear the same 8 seconds of a song I will turn on MTV.
This is just the start there will be something new. Like now people can pay to eliminate the ringing on the phone. Now music is played until somebody picks up the phone. Ring tones just give us all another false sense of coolness just like tanning salons and teeth whitening.
The embarrassment that follows is now when no one looks. Remember when only rich white people could afford car alarms? That don't mean jack now. Regular chumps like yours truly can push the panic button on their ride. Only of course to drown out the people who talk so loud they defeat the purpose of the phone all together.
If you have downloaded a ring tone in the past few months I have news for you. Hurry to the GAP I hear there will be a new color scheme for stripes.
Monday, August 01, 2005
Never Cleaning Again
This past Saturday I went into cleaning mode. Full out. The reason why I like to clean is that when I realize I am to lazy to go outside but need to do something that I can brag to others about- I clean. It shows responsibility. So I would think.
I gave the place a cleaning like there was a Maxim shoot that day. I used six Swiffer wet mops. 6! This floor is cleanist in years. I then went the step into being compulsive like mom. I put some polish on the floor. Not just accident waiting to happen, broken bone waiting to happen.
When I went to get my shoes on this morning. I slipped so bad my left leg knocked out my right leg, I knocked over the fan and then laid on the ground hoping to - well not wake someone up. I am the relatively considerate building mate.
I now walk with rubber souls at all times.
~~~~~~
I found a way to make myself go to the gym every morning. I've stopped buying shampoo and conditioner. Merging personal health and hygene was only a matter of time. Now if I let myself down the whole office will suffer.
I did go on the treadmill today. Almost fell off every time I went to wipe my face. I think I had the raw end of the deal today. My mind was concerned with the reverse scenario. There were attractive women behind me running- and I knew that they were only watching me to see if I'd fall off. How long can a relationship on spandex really last anyway? (debut call back- those who were there should comment hello)
In effort to deny my body of any advancement I then came home and ate three chicken patty sandwhiches. There must be something in there like nicotine. I can't stop eating them. One day I will make the great dream- chicken patty hot pocket casserole. Yes ladies I cook.
I gave the place a cleaning like there was a Maxim shoot that day. I used six Swiffer wet mops. 6! This floor is cleanist in years. I then went the step into being compulsive like mom. I put some polish on the floor. Not just accident waiting to happen, broken bone waiting to happen.
When I went to get my shoes on this morning. I slipped so bad my left leg knocked out my right leg, I knocked over the fan and then laid on the ground hoping to - well not wake someone up. I am the relatively considerate building mate.
I now walk with rubber souls at all times.
~~~~~~
I found a way to make myself go to the gym every morning. I've stopped buying shampoo and conditioner. Merging personal health and hygene was only a matter of time. Now if I let myself down the whole office will suffer.
I did go on the treadmill today. Almost fell off every time I went to wipe my face. I think I had the raw end of the deal today. My mind was concerned with the reverse scenario. There were attractive women behind me running- and I knew that they were only watching me to see if I'd fall off. How long can a relationship on spandex really last anyway? (debut call back- those who were there should comment hello)
In effort to deny my body of any advancement I then came home and ate three chicken patty sandwhiches. There must be something in there like nicotine. I can't stop eating them. One day I will make the great dream- chicken patty hot pocket casserole. Yes ladies I cook.
Saturday, July 30, 2005
Another Post?! 2 in 1 Day SWEET!
What would deserve the pleasure of multiple postings in one day? Let me tell you. First thing first, sleeping to 11:30am got me all charged for the day. I slept so long that when I got out of bed I could actually feel how straightened my spine had become.
Prior to getting out of bed I did get a call at 8am. Yikes! This caused me to stretch in a feline manner. Low and behold that was not a bright idea. I have long been injured on multiple occiasions just by stretching in bed (those who know know the story). Now comes another injury. I stretched my calf muscle to the point I pulled it. I was in agony to the point I was caressing my leg while burrying my face in the pillow hoping for some intervention on this pain.
My new theory of wiggling my toes and slowly extending the leg worked. I returned to bed and slept for another three and a half hours. Phew!
~~~~~~
The main reason for this entry is salsa. I went out with my buddies from work and we stopped off at her house. There were full out spread of snacks and beer. God do I love being in the adult world. No more of this BYO snacks. There was some of the best salsa ever. It was peach and pineapple salsa. Damn it was tasty. To the point I would have started to dip vegetables in that just to have an excuse for eating the salsa.
I then today made my trademark Gringo quesadillas. Grilled cheese that I dip in salsa. It wasn't peach and pineapple salsa, but it did just fine.
~~~~~~~
I am currently uploading my cuban music cd. It is only a matter of time that the young latinos respect the Alto. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em...in blasting crazy music at 4am.
Prior to getting out of bed I did get a call at 8am. Yikes! This caused me to stretch in a feline manner. Low and behold that was not a bright idea. I have long been injured on multiple occiasions just by stretching in bed (those who know know the story). Now comes another injury. I stretched my calf muscle to the point I pulled it. I was in agony to the point I was caressing my leg while burrying my face in the pillow hoping for some intervention on this pain.
My new theory of wiggling my toes and slowly extending the leg worked. I returned to bed and slept for another three and a half hours. Phew!
~~~~~~
The main reason for this entry is salsa. I went out with my buddies from work and we stopped off at her house. There were full out spread of snacks and beer. God do I love being in the adult world. No more of this BYO snacks. There was some of the best salsa ever. It was peach and pineapple salsa. Damn it was tasty. To the point I would have started to dip vegetables in that just to have an excuse for eating the salsa.
I then today made my trademark Gringo quesadillas. Grilled cheese that I dip in salsa. It wasn't peach and pineapple salsa, but it did just fine.
~~~~~~~
I am currently uploading my cuban music cd. It is only a matter of time that the young latinos respect the Alto. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em...in blasting crazy music at 4am.
The Casting Couch
For any of those people who have gone to auditions and not made it, you may enjoy this inside look on the process. Not more than a month ago I was rejected from an audition and it set me back a bit. I thought I hit it well but I was wrong. I am not a hot girl. At least I know that it's not a skill factor here.
The thing is attractive women can get whatever they want in life as long as they plan smart and groom well; when and where necessary. I am involved in a production that had auditions last week. It was nice to see how these things go on the other side.
After watching a group with alright guys and some decent girls we had an all guy audition. No news from that. This is about the way women are cast. The first group had what we call healthy women. You know the ones that know the answer to the perenial question "what's for dinner?" But mind you still relatively talented.
Enter group three. Eleven people, four of which were women with noticeable beauty (typically unseen in comedy-note Janine Garofolo) Anyway, to make this story better I will change the names to protect us writers. There was this hot number Jackie that was there. Very talented, but I knew that as long as she didn't open her mouth and spit out F-bombs she was in. Why? I know the rest of the writers thought she was hot.
After the audition we got together to pick the six person cast. Three guys and three girls are needed. We knew one girl was hands down the best. Then our director said, "ok who stuck out from that last group?" In sequence without missing a beat three guy writes (self included) jump to say- "Jackie" "Jackie" "Jackie". I started to laugh when I looked at the one girl in our group who clued in quickly.
"You guys just want to f*$@ her." I reply "No." I couldn't muster anyother words of bullshit to make her frustration recess. The fact of the matter is that Jackie had a good audition. I have minimal attraction to her for a number of reasons. 1. I am sober while I write this. 2. She reminds me of one of my friends girlfriends 3. He hair is too long for my liking.
Casting is one of the best experiences that I could have ever witnessed. It's very much like job descriptions. We need this, that, more of another, and if you happen to be someone we would want to sleep with then that's a plus. Please bring headshot, resume, and hair clip to the audition.
I just hope all casting couches are scotchguarded.
The thing is attractive women can get whatever they want in life as long as they plan smart and groom well; when and where necessary. I am involved in a production that had auditions last week. It was nice to see how these things go on the other side.
After watching a group with alright guys and some decent girls we had an all guy audition. No news from that. This is about the way women are cast. The first group had what we call healthy women. You know the ones that know the answer to the perenial question "what's for dinner?" But mind you still relatively talented.
Enter group three. Eleven people, four of which were women with noticeable beauty (typically unseen in comedy-note Janine Garofolo) Anyway, to make this story better I will change the names to protect us writers. There was this hot number Jackie that was there. Very talented, but I knew that as long as she didn't open her mouth and spit out F-bombs she was in. Why? I know the rest of the writers thought she was hot.
After the audition we got together to pick the six person cast. Three guys and three girls are needed. We knew one girl was hands down the best. Then our director said, "ok who stuck out from that last group?" In sequence without missing a beat three guy writes (self included) jump to say- "Jackie" "Jackie" "Jackie". I started to laugh when I looked at the one girl in our group who clued in quickly.
"You guys just want to f*$@ her." I reply "No." I couldn't muster anyother words of bullshit to make her frustration recess. The fact of the matter is that Jackie had a good audition. I have minimal attraction to her for a number of reasons. 1. I am sober while I write this. 2. She reminds me of one of my friends girlfriends 3. He hair is too long for my liking.
Casting is one of the best experiences that I could have ever witnessed. It's very much like job descriptions. We need this, that, more of another, and if you happen to be someone we would want to sleep with then that's a plus. Please bring headshot, resume, and hair clip to the audition.
I just hope all casting couches are scotchguarded.
Thursday, July 28, 2005
The Magical Love Bus
Well I do apologize for the delay in blogville. I was standing up in a wedding this past weekend. It was wonderful. As long as it's not my wedding I tend to approve. Tend is the keyword there. Anyway, the temp was hot and muggy. Perfect for formal wear to stick to the body like a wet t-shirt. (no this entry is not going that direction)
So after behaving ourselves for about an hour and change, we hit the trail all in the "party bus." Granted we were over maximum capacity, or just bigger in the rump than thought we all crammed in there. The driver had 4 teeth and a tie and short sleeve shirt.
The surprise there was while in the church mr. driver was hitting the sauce meant for the bridal party. Foul on two levels. 1. Don't drink other's booze. 2. Don't drive after that. This yahoo spent the majority of the trip to the reception driving all over and creating motion sickness to the passengers- not to mention he claimed to have cd with party music and it was Ace of Base and some other fine chart toppers.
We managed, we drank with caution, some ate with caution. Then we stopped to get more beer. Apparently within 30 minutes 18+ can drink about 2 drinks each. While at the local liquor shop the driver exchanges words with one of the patrons and then her husband tells the driver off. Set on being completely stupid the driver then almost fights this man. In a sign of frustration he kicks one of the groomsmen off the bus. What was seeming to be the message was that no one respects the bus driver. The groomsman exchanged some pleasantries and then got on the bus. Damn! Who's the punk now?
Upon arriving to the reception venue the driver bitched about us trashing the bus. I guess empty cans, bottles and some broken crackers were the last straw. He spent about five minutes whining about not getting a tip while he threw trash on the driveway of the site. He then was repremanded for the hundredth time that day and cleaned it up like the li'l bitch he was.
By no means am I saying bus drivers are jags like this guy. Afterall, I am rather confident he is no longer a bus driver. Our memories will last a lifetime. Which I am sure is longer than his unemployment will.
So after behaving ourselves for about an hour and change, we hit the trail all in the "party bus." Granted we were over maximum capacity, or just bigger in the rump than thought we all crammed in there. The driver had 4 teeth and a tie and short sleeve shirt.
The surprise there was while in the church mr. driver was hitting the sauce meant for the bridal party. Foul on two levels. 1. Don't drink other's booze. 2. Don't drive after that. This yahoo spent the majority of the trip to the reception driving all over and creating motion sickness to the passengers- not to mention he claimed to have cd with party music and it was Ace of Base and some other fine chart toppers.
We managed, we drank with caution, some ate with caution. Then we stopped to get more beer. Apparently within 30 minutes 18+ can drink about 2 drinks each. While at the local liquor shop the driver exchanges words with one of the patrons and then her husband tells the driver off. Set on being completely stupid the driver then almost fights this man. In a sign of frustration he kicks one of the groomsmen off the bus. What was seeming to be the message was that no one respects the bus driver. The groomsman exchanged some pleasantries and then got on the bus. Damn! Who's the punk now?
Upon arriving to the reception venue the driver bitched about us trashing the bus. I guess empty cans, bottles and some broken crackers were the last straw. He spent about five minutes whining about not getting a tip while he threw trash on the driveway of the site. He then was repremanded for the hundredth time that day and cleaned it up like the li'l bitch he was.
By no means am I saying bus drivers are jags like this guy. Afterall, I am rather confident he is no longer a bus driver. Our memories will last a lifetime. Which I am sure is longer than his unemployment will.
Sunday, July 17, 2005
Divinity at Wholesale Prices!!!
Well today was my niece's Christianing. What a moment in her life that she knows nothing about. What I found delicious about it all was the way the church has gone Costco on the parish. I arrive in the parking lot to see others leaving their cars for the church. One, two, three unfamiliar faces surface. Maybe my sister made new friends I am unaware of. Not likely since marriage + kids = no more time for friends. But I digress.
These were other families having baptisms on that day. There were 11 kids and the priest called it a slow day. SLOW! Now if the padre was thinking he could double profits with having a sunset ceremony ontop of the matinee. Silly Catholics, always three generations behind the rest.
So as the onslaught of strangers come in for their equally impersonal service I was taken a back. There was someone there that I graduated high school with. She looked good, (she did gain the freshmen fifteen but looks like she kicked that.-good for her.) So we had the catch up face off. "
"So Mike, this is my fiance- blabidity Blah"
"Nice to meet you, congrats" (1pt Keri)
"What have you been up to Keri?"
"I teach, elementary school. And you?"
"I was out east for a bit, now I am working and I do comedy, stand up and movies and stuff."
"Cool." (1 pt Mike)
TOTAL SCORE - Mike 1 Keri 1
And that's how it ended, a dead tie. Sometimes there is not a clear winner. I am considering docking at least 1 pt for being attractive and engaged at her age. (Mike 1 Keri -1) (Hey it's my game/blog)
We left one hour later with God on our side and with intention of returning for the next wedding/funeral, or Christmas. Whatever comes first.
These were other families having baptisms on that day. There were 11 kids and the priest called it a slow day. SLOW! Now if the padre was thinking he could double profits with having a sunset ceremony ontop of the matinee. Silly Catholics, always three generations behind the rest.
So as the onslaught of strangers come in for their equally impersonal service I was taken a back. There was someone there that I graduated high school with. She looked good, (she did gain the freshmen fifteen but looks like she kicked that.-good for her.) So we had the catch up face off. "
"So Mike, this is my fiance- blabidity Blah"
"Nice to meet you, congrats" (1pt Keri)
"What have you been up to Keri?"
"I teach, elementary school. And you?"
"I was out east for a bit, now I am working and I do comedy, stand up and movies and stuff."
"Cool." (1 pt Mike)
TOTAL SCORE - Mike 1 Keri 1
And that's how it ended, a dead tie. Sometimes there is not a clear winner. I am considering docking at least 1 pt for being attractive and engaged at her age. (Mike 1 Keri -1) (Hey it's my game/blog)
We left one hour later with God on our side and with intention of returning for the next wedding/funeral, or Christmas. Whatever comes first.
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
Rebel Without a Handsfree
Welcome to the wide world of huber-b.s. I was recently driving in the city and for some reason my car was quiet. Sure the music was louder than the passing airplane but there was something missing- my muffled ringtone of Cecilia coming from the cell phone.
No longer am I able to drive and talk on the phone. Probably for the best, now I have plenty of time to read my billboards and bumperstickers. There is a good 4 mile stretch that I know I look mainly at the signs compared to the 98 Grand Am slamming breaks in front of me.
So i was called last night while in the heart of the north side. I stared at the phone, a quick blur of tickets, officers, and pending insurance hikes. What did I do? Answered it. Damn straight! Take that over-protective city. Now I should mention that I am not all swagger. When I drove by officers while holding my cell phone (and in mid-conversation) I dropped in on my lap like a hot plate. The fun part was not telling the people every time I dropped it on my lap.
What takes the cake more than my rogue attitude is those that follow the law. I drove by some guy with a handsfree and he was holding the mic up to his mouth. How freaking effective is this law?
I look forward to the day where we pass an ordinance prohibiting absurd laws and or law makers. Never mind that'll never happen since we may hurt the morons' feelings.
No longer am I able to drive and talk on the phone. Probably for the best, now I have plenty of time to read my billboards and bumperstickers. There is a good 4 mile stretch that I know I look mainly at the signs compared to the 98 Grand Am slamming breaks in front of me.
So i was called last night while in the heart of the north side. I stared at the phone, a quick blur of tickets, officers, and pending insurance hikes. What did I do? Answered it. Damn straight! Take that over-protective city. Now I should mention that I am not all swagger. When I drove by officers while holding my cell phone (and in mid-conversation) I dropped in on my lap like a hot plate. The fun part was not telling the people every time I dropped it on my lap.
What takes the cake more than my rogue attitude is those that follow the law. I drove by some guy with a handsfree and he was holding the mic up to his mouth. How freaking effective is this law?
I look forward to the day where we pass an ordinance prohibiting absurd laws and or law makers. Never mind that'll never happen since we may hurt the morons' feelings.
Monday, July 11, 2005
Cleaning Crew
I cleaned the apartment last night. I was on top of it for the first time in a while. Mainly because I realized that I hit my dirty threshold. No longer did I want to walk on the well placed pizza crumb. For I have a Swiffer, with the mop covers. Pushing that around was very much like just pushing a wet paper towel. But this says Swiffer, and thus is now a cleaner apartment.
Cleaning is the best realization to how much harder you need to work. It is sort of the swim suit of housing. I tell you I had spent way too long ignoring the healthy habits of mopping and dusting.
After that I was so hopped up on initiative that I even made my lunch for the week and ironed for the week. Some of you wonder why do I mention this trivial info. Nothing is ever trivial, but often times boring as hell.
I did try to hop over the iron that was on, again the lack of vertical rise I have. I tripped, pulled the hot iron down, grazing my foot. Domestication does come at price. Whether it be dignity or layers of flesh is undetermined.
(I did go to a bachelor party but I can't disclose any of that for you women are better connected than we thought)
Cleaning is the best realization to how much harder you need to work. It is sort of the swim suit of housing. I tell you I had spent way too long ignoring the healthy habits of mopping and dusting.
After that I was so hopped up on initiative that I even made my lunch for the week and ironed for the week. Some of you wonder why do I mention this trivial info. Nothing is ever trivial, but often times boring as hell.
I did try to hop over the iron that was on, again the lack of vertical rise I have. I tripped, pulled the hot iron down, grazing my foot. Domestication does come at price. Whether it be dignity or layers of flesh is undetermined.
(I did go to a bachelor party but I can't disclose any of that for you women are better connected than we thought)
Tuesday, July 05, 2005
Rules and Regulations
Alright so this past weekend was a blast but it came at the expense of some sanity. First of all I must give credit to all my friends who chose to come to the suburbs for a cookout. Granted a pool can typically generate friends out of the quietest of neighbors. I digress.
So upon returning to the barrio I get to dodge the onslaught of fireworks. Not a bad thing. Until I try to park my car and get another notch older than before. Whenever I have a "damn kids" moment I know that something bad is happening. I chose not to have them land their equally illegal fireworks on the ride.
Ok I like fireworks. A lot. They are great when done right. However when you start to see a quality anything you begin to realize that for every better removes more innocence. I care not about Neighborhood or even lakeside fireworks. I have seen Disney ones that in my opinion are the best. Why are they the best? Because some jamoke is not lighting them off until damn near midnight.
There is no tact with some people. They simply don't care. It's all about them and who cares what others would prefer. (Am I talking about myself or the fireworkers? You decide) Perhaps my favorite bit of 4th knowledge was that this was the last year for Chicago residents to use sparklers. Sparklers. Where else are kids going to learn about the relative speed metal conducts heat?
This rule bothers me. It is another case and point that we have some of the dumbest parents alive. There are some excellent ones out there. They are using pacifiers, tough love, and even the word no on occaision. Someday soon we won't be able to use knives in Chicago because some kid will hurt themself while mommy or daddy was busy setting the Tivo.
So now that some half wit can't stop watching the game on tv, or gabbing with their newly married friends, some kid who has attentive parents has to drag the kids to a park to watch the the spectacle in the sky. Meanwhile the gifted kids are all chewing on their shoelaces and making stupidity flow like Bud on the northside and the residential regulars are now trying so hard to ignore the social difference between no and know.
In moments when rules are made to excuse responsibility I thank God- for mortality. Someday it will all end.
So upon returning to the barrio I get to dodge the onslaught of fireworks. Not a bad thing. Until I try to park my car and get another notch older than before. Whenever I have a "damn kids" moment I know that something bad is happening. I chose not to have them land their equally illegal fireworks on the ride.
Ok I like fireworks. A lot. They are great when done right. However when you start to see a quality anything you begin to realize that for every better removes more innocence. I care not about Neighborhood or even lakeside fireworks. I have seen Disney ones that in my opinion are the best. Why are they the best? Because some jamoke is not lighting them off until damn near midnight.
There is no tact with some people. They simply don't care. It's all about them and who cares what others would prefer. (Am I talking about myself or the fireworkers? You decide) Perhaps my favorite bit of 4th knowledge was that this was the last year for Chicago residents to use sparklers. Sparklers. Where else are kids going to learn about the relative speed metal conducts heat?
This rule bothers me. It is another case and point that we have some of the dumbest parents alive. There are some excellent ones out there. They are using pacifiers, tough love, and even the word no on occaision. Someday soon we won't be able to use knives in Chicago because some kid will hurt themself while mommy or daddy was busy setting the Tivo.
So now that some half wit can't stop watching the game on tv, or gabbing with their newly married friends, some kid who has attentive parents has to drag the kids to a park to watch the the spectacle in the sky. Meanwhile the gifted kids are all chewing on their shoelaces and making stupidity flow like Bud on the northside and the residential regulars are now trying so hard to ignore the social difference between no and know.
In moments when rules are made to excuse responsibility I thank God- for mortality. Someday it will all end.
Wednesday, June 29, 2005
Whoever Said...
Women had this level of discretion was wrong. I had a conversation yesterday with a woman explaining that her immodium a.d. is not working fast enough. She even went as far as to mention the words vomit and diarhea ( I know that's spelled wrong). I am sure she still holds composure and denies sweating or farting.
Sunday, June 26, 2005
Ain't Too Proud to Shut Up
So much has happened in the past few days that I am uncertain to what extent I should speak. Last week I came to the realization that city or suburb, I hate parades. I was woken up to the loud and proud Puerto Rican community storming the avenue like there was an opening at shortstop.
There is something to be said about the way they demonstrate their cultural pride. Their is no subtlety to being Puerto Rican. Not even will the standard mini flag from the mirror do in such a case. Bring out the big honkin' flag that would be soaring atop the capital building. But where does one put such a large obstruction of vision? The hood, maybe. How about making your children hold the flagpole out the window as you cruise the city. Papi is just so proud of you.
I don't know if there is any other purpose of the parade but to interfere with other people's plans. No park use, no regular street use, no sleeping in until 9:30. I was woken by honking at 8:30am. ON A SATURDAY! I live on a sidestreet. Who comes down such a minor road? "We must make sure the WHOLE city knows of our great culture." Hey newsflash buddy: We all can hear the subwoofers coming from two blocks away. Great, great culture indeed.
No one can argue the pride message of the parade, now the tact and diplomacy yes, Same thing goes for any parade. I don't care. St. Patrick's Day get off the street you drunks. Parades are used to maintain the image and legacy of a culture. God forbid someone come up with a more efficient display of middle child syndrom.
I come off smug about this because parades are just like festivals and zoos. I always get stuck inbetween to women that make the Fridge look dainty and they stink to high heaven. There are a collection of people that don't bathe regularly, they go to the free events and walk slow and block 2/3 of the walkway with an ass that could stop a cannon ball. All a parade will do is shed light on all the stereotypes we use. Parades: Keeping grandpa's jokes applicable.
The level of pride and arrogance about one's culture just makes me realize that infact that I am proud and times arrogant- of my cultural modesty. I need no flag, no parade, no sticker on my car to let people know where I never visited. I am American, that works good enough for me.
There is something to be said about the way they demonstrate their cultural pride. Their is no subtlety to being Puerto Rican. Not even will the standard mini flag from the mirror do in such a case. Bring out the big honkin' flag that would be soaring atop the capital building. But where does one put such a large obstruction of vision? The hood, maybe. How about making your children hold the flagpole out the window as you cruise the city. Papi is just so proud of you.
I don't know if there is any other purpose of the parade but to interfere with other people's plans. No park use, no regular street use, no sleeping in until 9:30. I was woken by honking at 8:30am. ON A SATURDAY! I live on a sidestreet. Who comes down such a minor road? "We must make sure the WHOLE city knows of our great culture." Hey newsflash buddy: We all can hear the subwoofers coming from two blocks away. Great, great culture indeed.
No one can argue the pride message of the parade, now the tact and diplomacy yes, Same thing goes for any parade. I don't care. St. Patrick's Day get off the street you drunks. Parades are used to maintain the image and legacy of a culture. God forbid someone come up with a more efficient display of middle child syndrom.
I come off smug about this because parades are just like festivals and zoos. I always get stuck inbetween to women that make the Fridge look dainty and they stink to high heaven. There are a collection of people that don't bathe regularly, they go to the free events and walk slow and block 2/3 of the walkway with an ass that could stop a cannon ball. All a parade will do is shed light on all the stereotypes we use. Parades: Keeping grandpa's jokes applicable.
The level of pride and arrogance about one's culture just makes me realize that infact that I am proud and times arrogant- of my cultural modesty. I need no flag, no parade, no sticker on my car to let people know where I never visited. I am American, that works good enough for me.
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
The Loop
I am in the process of something wonderful. However I made the mistake of mentioning it to some people before it goes off. Being in the loop is something that most people think that they are but it's a minority of those we trust. So I began to wonder how do you earn the trust of people so quickly?
1. Cook for them. If someone lets you take care of the preparation of any food that clearly is a big sign. Unless you're making something like salad or deviled eggs. Anything that can be at a party without supervision is not cooking for people. In my brief party experience the layer dip is something that I can no longer pretend to "have later." The chef/dip person makes sure that all that enter the party try the dip. A sort of tortilla vigil perhaps. I don't appreciate the "come on one chip won't kill you." Yeah but from the mere scent alone it is killing my appetite.
2. Transport them. Anytime that someone asks someone to pick up or drop off there should be compensation of nice meal or sex. That's just the street value of a lift, so I hear. So riders beware.
3. Open up. The best mistake ever. Whatever nugget of trivia given will soon grow inside their head until it eats it's way back to the mouth and falls out infront of the wrong people. The tragedy of a leaky secret is not in the awakening that is had, it's the what?! you told WHO first!! moment. Best of luck working through this one, especially if you are in a committed relationship.
4. Intimacy. Now this is a tough one since I have a terrible thought of always wondering what jackoff got to this person before I met them. My only solace is that we are all able to consult the high quality evaluations at a free clinic...just incase.
The loop is something that is just like the locale. If you are there it's one of the most coveted areas yet will cost you an arm and a leg to tell others that they are not where you are.
1. Cook for them. If someone lets you take care of the preparation of any food that clearly is a big sign. Unless you're making something like salad or deviled eggs. Anything that can be at a party without supervision is not cooking for people. In my brief party experience the layer dip is something that I can no longer pretend to "have later." The chef/dip person makes sure that all that enter the party try the dip. A sort of tortilla vigil perhaps. I don't appreciate the "come on one chip won't kill you." Yeah but from the mere scent alone it is killing my appetite.
2. Transport them. Anytime that someone asks someone to pick up or drop off there should be compensation of nice meal or sex. That's just the street value of a lift, so I hear. So riders beware.
3. Open up. The best mistake ever. Whatever nugget of trivia given will soon grow inside their head until it eats it's way back to the mouth and falls out infront of the wrong people. The tragedy of a leaky secret is not in the awakening that is had, it's the what?! you told WHO first!! moment. Best of luck working through this one, especially if you are in a committed relationship.
4. Intimacy. Now this is a tough one since I have a terrible thought of always wondering what jackoff got to this person before I met them. My only solace is that we are all able to consult the high quality evaluations at a free clinic...just incase.
The loop is something that is just like the locale. If you are there it's one of the most coveted areas yet will cost you an arm and a leg to tell others that they are not where you are.
Monday, June 13, 2005
Put Down the Prayer Candles!!!
Beyonce' and her houston hoochies are finally calling it quits. I know, tough as it is, it is time to move on. But who will bring us follow up singles to "bootylicious" "survivor" and of course "nasty girl?" Probably Gwen Stefani.
I really did like this group. Granted I was on my death bed and the fantasy of getting it on with someone not white was topping the list so I would have something to discuss in the afterlife. Farewell Beyonce', looks like you can finally use "Goldmember" as her acting catapult and not have to worry about explaining the lack of back up sisters.
Sometime in college I was informed that black women in particular, wear extensions. Never knew it until then. Do women actually think that wearing another person's hair is the best option. I think that chemo patients have the right to get a bit upset. I know what you're thinking, a bit sassy today why so? Life was crazy today.
~~~~~~~
So the verdict. Let's discuss. Wait, I didn't watch or care since I know that celebrity justice is more than just a piss pour show on late night tv.
~~~~~~~
I put the air on in the car for the first time this year. I don't have air in the apartment. Time to move into my car.
~~~~~~~
I dropped the f bomb by 9:30am at work today after a candidate cancelled for the third time. I can actually feel the inner Republican growing stronger.
~~~~~~~
Am I the only one that thinks
- the villan in Batman Begins should have been played by Josh Jackson or James Van DerBeek?
- Hillary Duff looks like Jenna Jameson's younger sister?
- Adam Sandler and Melissa Etheridge sound the same singing?
- Stone Phillips is the original father of Vicki from "Small Wonder?"
- NBC prides itself on sports ESPN said no to ? ( Arena League, Nascar, WNBA, track and field)
- now that the Cubs are winning the North side can forget those pesky rapes?
I really did like this group. Granted I was on my death bed and the fantasy of getting it on with someone not white was topping the list so I would have something to discuss in the afterlife. Farewell Beyonce', looks like you can finally use "Goldmember" as her acting catapult and not have to worry about explaining the lack of back up sisters.
Sometime in college I was informed that black women in particular, wear extensions. Never knew it until then. Do women actually think that wearing another person's hair is the best option. I think that chemo patients have the right to get a bit upset. I know what you're thinking, a bit sassy today why so? Life was crazy today.
~~~~~~~
So the verdict. Let's discuss. Wait, I didn't watch or care since I know that celebrity justice is more than just a piss pour show on late night tv.
~~~~~~~
I put the air on in the car for the first time this year. I don't have air in the apartment. Time to move into my car.
~~~~~~~
I dropped the f bomb by 9:30am at work today after a candidate cancelled for the third time. I can actually feel the inner Republican growing stronger.
~~~~~~~
Am I the only one that thinks
- the villan in Batman Begins should have been played by Josh Jackson or James Van DerBeek?
- Hillary Duff looks like Jenna Jameson's younger sister?
- Adam Sandler and Melissa Etheridge sound the same singing?
- Stone Phillips is the original father of Vicki from "Small Wonder?"
- NBC prides itself on sports ESPN said no to ? ( Arena League, Nascar, WNBA, track and field)
- now that the Cubs are winning the North side can forget those pesky rapes?
Saturday, June 04, 2005
Coming Attractions
Just a bit of updating for you all. The following projects are to be coming in the next couple months.
Leftovers- a short film about a date ruined and saved by the quirks of each person's family. This is going into production in July with an anticipated premiere in August.
Stand up- well I am working on that as best I can, unfortunatelly clubs go through agencies. Where's my agent? Coming soon I hope.
Improv- Well auditions for the next wave are nearing, if all goes well the premiere to Leftovers can be the announcement of many types of great entertainment news.
"The Show"- a sketch show to be coming to Chicagoland in the early Fall. Featuring writings by yourstruly and a core of writers that pissed way too much money into classes. Not to forget a featured guest sketch each week.
I know it seems intense and not all will go as smoothly as planned. Feel free to comment on your cynicism, I'd love to know exactly who I will be proving wrong by Halloween.
Leftovers- a short film about a date ruined and saved by the quirks of each person's family. This is going into production in July with an anticipated premiere in August.
Stand up- well I am working on that as best I can, unfortunatelly clubs go through agencies. Where's my agent? Coming soon I hope.
Improv- Well auditions for the next wave are nearing, if all goes well the premiere to Leftovers can be the announcement of many types of great entertainment news.
"The Show"- a sketch show to be coming to Chicagoland in the early Fall. Featuring writings by yourstruly and a core of writers that pissed way too much money into classes. Not to forget a featured guest sketch each week.
I know it seems intense and not all will go as smoothly as planned. Feel free to comment on your cynicism, I'd love to know exactly who I will be proving wrong by Halloween.
Thursday, June 02, 2005
Part of the Game
So this past weekend was wonderful and educational. What I thought was a clever idea put me in the same role as a large girl wearing the backless shirt. I tried to fit in my little league jersey. To my defense it fit. To those who love male butt cleav, that was the outfit for you. Hindsight is clear but I still am animate about not wearing button down shirts out on the weekend. I'm not your ex-boyfriend's boyfriend. All those guys look like the smurfs. Now I know why there was only one girl on that show.
Anyway. I also learned the BYOB policy is acceptable for beer. Bring a case, 6 or 12. For those bringing liquor, apparently an entire bottle is needed before you can show your face. Not I. I went extra selfish and packed a flask of Jameson. I later divied up some shots for a few people. I was mocked by one gal and then when I offered her some free booze she did what all good girls do and shut her yapper and took the free booze. Her shoes were too pointy.
Yes, I am like that. There is a theory I am testing. The pointier a woman's shoe is, the higher maintainence she is. Guys, my suggestion of places to look after the typical chest, butt, and complete tattoo search is as follows; finger (for ring), eyes (for early wrinkles from chronic tanning), then shoes. If those things are at a point that they can chip away a block of ice. Back off. For your and your wallet's safety back away. To me it just reminds me of the Chineses culture when they stuffed women's feet in shoes so small they were permanently broken.
We played softball two nights ago. I sucked. One week after a great game I sucked. Tbere was a ditch for batter's boxes and I damn near fell out of it each time. Twice I lost balance on the way to first and fell face forward. My knee is reopened and life is grand. Oh, I also took a liner off my shin and now it is noticeably swollen.
The way things are going I am lead to believe the world will all be married by Halloween. But at least the chicken will be good.
Anyway. I also learned the BYOB policy is acceptable for beer. Bring a case, 6 or 12. For those bringing liquor, apparently an entire bottle is needed before you can show your face. Not I. I went extra selfish and packed a flask of Jameson. I later divied up some shots for a few people. I was mocked by one gal and then when I offered her some free booze she did what all good girls do and shut her yapper and took the free booze. Her shoes were too pointy.
Yes, I am like that. There is a theory I am testing. The pointier a woman's shoe is, the higher maintainence she is. Guys, my suggestion of places to look after the typical chest, butt, and complete tattoo search is as follows; finger (for ring), eyes (for early wrinkles from chronic tanning), then shoes. If those things are at a point that they can chip away a block of ice. Back off. For your and your wallet's safety back away. To me it just reminds me of the Chineses culture when they stuffed women's feet in shoes so small they were permanently broken.
We played softball two nights ago. I sucked. One week after a great game I sucked. Tbere was a ditch for batter's boxes and I damn near fell out of it each time. Twice I lost balance on the way to first and fell face forward. My knee is reopened and life is grand. Oh, I also took a liner off my shin and now it is noticeably swollen.
The way things are going I am lead to believe the world will all be married by Halloween. But at least the chicken will be good.
Saturday, May 28, 2005
35-14
The other day I wenr to get fitted for my tux for another friend's wedding I am in. Initially a good moment from the compliment on my suit, turned sour. The clerk asked for my waist size, 34. He measured, a 35. A 35. Now I have been pleased being a 34-34 for a number of years. To me it's about keeping the battle versus inseam and waist a tie. Somewhere between the brats and occasional sit ups there was a foul and the waist went to the line making one of two.
I am not worried as much as I am worried. There is now only 5 inches from a 40 waist. Which there is nothing wrong with a 40, but I am (kind of) trying to get a 6 pack. Refocused I have decided to try and cut down on some of the finer things in life. I went to the store and shopped healthy.
Sure I picked up frozen pizzas, but that's only because the Pizzazz hasn't been used in a month. I bought salads, peppers, cucumbers, carrots, vitamin d milk, and for a snack - yogurt. You know you feel bad about your body image when you eat yogurt. I can't believe anyone in their right mind would actually eat spoiled milk with fruit bits in it for fun.
Yogurt is such a reflective food item. Through the whole cup I was thinking "what have I done wrong?" This new quest to purge the pudge will give me reason to cut out beer and go back to the cocktail, and the gym.
My return to the gym came last night. I showed up for some lap swim. I swam for a shorter time in a shorter pool than in Ripon but at least I was there. I went and took out a kickboard and leg foam for specific drills I recall from the team. While using the kickboard (which clearly works your legs), the life guard was cleaning up after family swim. He took my leg foam. Hello, I just ask you five minutes ago if I could use the aforementioned piece of foam. Dillhole.
So I swam. The form was the stellar cellar of D-III athletics some may have witnessed. Once my arms turned jello, I tried a flip turn. Beautiful, now I just need to work past the flushing of my sinuses by all that water. Someday that'll happen.
I returned home to then eat, and watch season 3 of Seinfeld. Ahh life is so sweet. With plans to hit an open mic at midnight I was set and pleased with my day. Then I passed out on the couch. Woke up to Rob's call hoping that he didn't want to hang out due to my now motionless body. He was staying in since he had to work today. FIne with me. I went back to passing out.
2:30 in the morning wakes me up and I move to the bedroom. I stayed there until 11:30 this morning. Thus almost breaking the longest healthy sleep record with a 14.5 hour sleep. I will let you know that I dreamt about the next x-men movies and it will be great, especially if like my dream I am in them.
I am not worried as much as I am worried. There is now only 5 inches from a 40 waist. Which there is nothing wrong with a 40, but I am (kind of) trying to get a 6 pack. Refocused I have decided to try and cut down on some of the finer things in life. I went to the store and shopped healthy.
Sure I picked up frozen pizzas, but that's only because the Pizzazz hasn't been used in a month. I bought salads, peppers, cucumbers, carrots, vitamin d milk, and for a snack - yogurt. You know you feel bad about your body image when you eat yogurt. I can't believe anyone in their right mind would actually eat spoiled milk with fruit bits in it for fun.
Yogurt is such a reflective food item. Through the whole cup I was thinking "what have I done wrong?" This new quest to purge the pudge will give me reason to cut out beer and go back to the cocktail, and the gym.
My return to the gym came last night. I showed up for some lap swim. I swam for a shorter time in a shorter pool than in Ripon but at least I was there. I went and took out a kickboard and leg foam for specific drills I recall from the team. While using the kickboard (which clearly works your legs), the life guard was cleaning up after family swim. He took my leg foam. Hello, I just ask you five minutes ago if I could use the aforementioned piece of foam. Dillhole.
So I swam. The form was the stellar cellar of D-III athletics some may have witnessed. Once my arms turned jello, I tried a flip turn. Beautiful, now I just need to work past the flushing of my sinuses by all that water. Someday that'll happen.
I returned home to then eat, and watch season 3 of Seinfeld. Ahh life is so sweet. With plans to hit an open mic at midnight I was set and pleased with my day. Then I passed out on the couch. Woke up to Rob's call hoping that he didn't want to hang out due to my now motionless body. He was staying in since he had to work today. FIne with me. I went back to passing out.
2:30 in the morning wakes me up and I move to the bedroom. I stayed there until 11:30 this morning. Thus almost breaking the longest healthy sleep record with a 14.5 hour sleep. I will let you know that I dreamt about the next x-men movies and it will be great, especially if like my dream I am in them.
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