Monday, September 17, 2007

Bob Seger: We could have had tonight

Perhaps one of the finest songs ever performed is Night Moves by the snaggle-toothed Bob Seger and his silver bullet band. I went out on a limb, a moment of declaration yet minimal repercussion except for personal embarrassment. Bob Seger will you be my myspace friend? Apparently no. The delay in any response must mean the following;
1. He is too busy trying to find the actual joy in Detroit instead of approving me.
2. My photo doesn't look like I should be his Harley barnacle for a roadtrip.
3. He is too busy watching the Alf episode where Alf lipsyncs to "old time of rock and roll" parodying risky business. They really don't write tv as well as they did in the 80s.

Not to say I am damaged goods but if Bob Seger rejects me, what kind of pain am I setting myself up for with Kelly Clarkson? Seger was my safety celebrity.

Sunday, July 29, 2007

Dream On

Last night I was in the middle of some well needed sleep when some disturbing events entered. I have been woken with some bad dreams over time but this was just annoying. The dream I had was that I was driving to the police department to pay for my parking ticket. While I was getting out of the car I was followed by an officer without my knowledge. I paid the fine and then returned to my car only to see the office giving me another parking ticket.

That was just malicious. Who gives someone a ticket while they pay thier ticket? Fortunately, I have remote control over my dreams and didn't have to go to court for it.

I have two main fears in my life that are tangible. The biggest one is spiders. I don't know why? Afterall, they are rumored to kill off mosquitos and other bugs that sole purpose is to extend biology lectures. Maybe if I saw a spider take out a bug that bothered me I would be more appreciative. I would be ok with the spider leaving a portion of a centipede on its web as a sign of service to our understanding. Instead, those webs are only hung to make me feel like I am about be stabbed by some B-rate killer.

That's why I have decided to eliminate the top two of my fears. I would like to kill a spider...with a shotgun. Double barrelled too. I wouldn't fix the whole in the wall either. The gaping whole would send a message to the rest of the spider community. This could sping into a domestic battle where I may be pushed to enlist whatever is next on the food chain, frogs or birds or shoes.

I curently am on coffee ice cream. Ice cream is designed to relax, coffee to stimulate. I may have found the suburban eight ball.

Sunday, June 24, 2007

Man Broccoli/ Cleaning Day

Today marks the third time in two months that my roommates and I have delegated cleaning day. It's not really a day. The actual duration is best compared to when you were at the public pool and your friends through in quarters in the bottom of the deep end and you hold your breath just long enough before you pass out.

Cleaning the kitchen primarily requires scrubbing week old coffee stains that were to mark like rings on a tree the time my roommate started his bar studies. He has claimed to have been tanning but I am lead to believe he is actually drinking so much coffee his pigment is changing.

In a very similar way I held my breath as I churched up bathroom duty for three of us guys. Don't get me wrong, it's not like we're some monkeys at the end of a ballgame...but it is a bathroom. It's like walking into a crime scene. There used to be life here. Just trying to rationalize the grime made me confirm that it is possible to be a guy that is like his mom. I would remember her asking us how we managed to get toothpaste so far up on the mirror. I now am baffled, maybe because I am the tallest one and I know that it wasn't me. Perhaps my sub-six foot roommate used his footstool to brush like a five year old?

There is a shower cleaning spray that claims that as long as you spray it after showers once a day, it will clean the tile itself. I don't really know if I buy that it cleans but at least when it still looks like a highway motel I can point the finger to the mute bottle of shower spray.

I have a dishwasher and love every minute of it. Now if I could just get one that loads and unloads automatically I would be really happy.

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Auto Show '07

So here are some pics for you to look at. Plenty more to come but these are some of my favorites.

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

New Year's To Do/Think about List '07

Well, writing down a resolution or thirty may be a bold thing I'd do in the past. Writing resolutions down is something I take very serious. It's like the biggest grocery list I have to make for myself. What sucks is how we don't plan to run into that side display of nacho cheese but still make room for it. (ooh metaphors this early in the year, bonus!)

1. Go Swimming 3 times a week - I used to think I could do that more but I am seriously bothered by how the ederly make a locker room a nudist colony and begin to recall yesteryear.

2. Eat healthier - Occasionally put green peppers on my pizza. Consider that done.

3. Catch 22 - Actually read the thing, don't use it as a papertowel.

4. Learn Guitar - If I practiced as much as I play Guitar Hero I could be earning big cash at a coffee house.

5. Public Transportation - Use it more. I fear the dream where Al Gore comes to visit and leaves Tipper to supervise me.

6. Be there for my brother - It's only a matter of time before the Cubs put their uniforms back on.

7. Develop a random impersonation - Remember when a Walken was clever and funny? Maybe I could be the one skinny guy with a good Farley, can't fake fat.