Monday, August 01, 2005

Never Cleaning Again

This past Saturday I went into cleaning mode. Full out. The reason why I like to clean is that when I realize I am to lazy to go outside but need to do something that I can brag to others about- I clean. It shows responsibility. So I would think.

I gave the place a cleaning like there was a Maxim shoot that day. I used six Swiffer wet mops. 6! This floor is cleanist in years. I then went the step into being compulsive like mom. I put some polish on the floor. Not just accident waiting to happen, broken bone waiting to happen.

When I went to get my shoes on this morning. I slipped so bad my left leg knocked out my right leg, I knocked over the fan and then laid on the ground hoping to - well not wake someone up. I am the relatively considerate building mate.

I now walk with rubber souls at all times.


I found a way to make myself go to the gym every morning. I've stopped buying shampoo and conditioner. Merging personal health and hygene was only a matter of time. Now if I let myself down the whole office will suffer.

I did go on the treadmill today. Almost fell off every time I went to wipe my face. I think I had the raw end of the deal today. My mind was concerned with the reverse scenario. There were attractive women behind me running- and I knew that they were only watching me to see if I'd fall off. How long can a relationship on spandex really last anyway? (debut call back- those who were there should comment hello)

In effort to deny my body of any advancement I then came home and ate three chicken patty sandwhiches. There must be something in there like nicotine. I can't stop eating them. One day I will make the great dream- chicken patty hot pocket casserole. Yes ladies I cook.

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