Tuesday, September 28, 2004

Trust Me I'm a Professional

Many things can go wrong during a day. It is not how we get into the tough situations but how we get out of them that makes us different. Well, recently there have been some mishaps on the homefront. The biggest being the internet connection. There are two things necessary to know about my family. 1. My family has the largest hesitation to engage in new technology (it was the late 90's when we got our first microwave). 2. If someone else in my family does something, even once, they are a professional at it.

Take the computer. In the spring I bought my own Mac. I still am learning the ways of the Mac. Upon moving home my family decided to get rid of the dial up and go dsl. So, who has to set it up? Why yours truly. For if my mom and step dad were to install it I would hear about seven new swear words and an unending monologue on the wonders of the typewriter.

Installing the software that eventually led to new viruses (thanks sbc) was not much of a problem. Contrary to any lame comic (note irony) I followed the directions and only had to call the help line four times. Tangent time: I don't believe that any of the answers I give to the Knight Rider voice screening the call actually are filtered to proper personel. No matter which way I answer my problem will be outsourced to the land of curry... And we're back.

Eventually things get up and running and I think I can enjoy my efforts. Nope. Why? Well, first whenever someone else has a computer problem my mom volunteers me to not only help, but solve any problem. When people ask if I am good with computers she replies with "yeah, he has his own."

Plus, my family insists on asking more questions like "is that normal?", "so can I have ANY email address?" or "what is that flashing light?" I answer each question with as much general knowledge as possible until someone follows up with another technical question. There comes a point where the blind man leading eventually says to his companions, "look, I don't have a clue to what is going on."

When I told my family that I although I knew plenty of computer information, I did not have all the answers. Formerly elated, they wear the expression that asks "then what did you learn at college?" I confessed. I am not the computer savy guy that exists in office labrythns across the nation. I am not the IT guy that comes over and asks you what went wrong using only acronyms. I am Mike, the home office IT guy, I field the questions that impare people from even making it into the aforementioned office maze. Questions like; how do I turn this on? where is the paper? or is it ok to log out now?

Things like that make me the resiliant homeland computer savant. I take great pride in how my limited knowledge/ignorance is strangley liberating.

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