Tuesday, November 30, 2004

My Dear Oprah: (Explicit Content: Beware)

When there is something in your life that is so empowering or entertaining there are no boundaries to obtainging more of that pleasure. The comedic arc of the covenant, Seinfeld Seasons 1-3 is now on dvd. There is much deserved buzz about the release. I find myself going to great limits to find out more about my favorite tv show ever. Even if that means watching Oprah.

First of all, let me tell you that having to watch Oprah interview the cast of Seinfeld was painful on many levels. It was like the day after Christmas break when the annoying kid brought the coolest toy to recess and everyone had to pretend to befriend the kid to get as close as possible to seeing the toy. Never before watching Oprah did I feel like a sellout, or better said a flaming pussy.

If I had to choose Mr. and Mrs. Worst interviewer it would definitely be Carson Daly and Oprah Winfrey. She was so captivating that the cast could be seen trying not to grimmace at the inane questions. This was the first group public appearance for the four since the show. It takes skill to lose the luster of cultural icons. Actually, it takes a pleathera of commercial breaks.

After each question ( I wish I was embellishing) Oprah was exhausted from actually having guests that required her full attention and would pause for commercials. Now I know Oprah is well known for her give aways. Yes, all audience members got a copy of the dvds, but I also believe every audience member got their own commercial break. How else could seven questions turn into an hour show?

The other tragedy was seeing the cast with the wrong make up on. Jason Alexander was so pale that if he did not have that reminants of a hair line, he would have easily looked like Humpty Dumpty. Julia was a bit pale as well but that is ok, since she wants me.

I knew I would be disappointed by the collaboration with Oprah. Of all shows, Oprah. Forget Leno, Letterman, Conan, let's go straight to the heart of America's homemakers. They are the ones that REALLY appreciated the show. It was business. Besides Allen Greenspan, Oprah has probably the next biggest influence on the economy. She could tell people to buy Mein Keimf (probably spelled wrong) and they would make it knock the Divinci Code off the Best Seller list.

Oprah touches everything with this selfish Midas mentality. When you try to make gold look even more lusterous you just end up making it look tacky.

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