Wednesday, November 03, 2004

Return of the Jebi

I stayed up last night until after midnight to watch the American tragedy. President Cheney and his sidekick are most likely going to be in office for another four blissful years. I wish them well and hope that their foreign policy is more tactful than the Risk game they have been playing thus far. I could be the bitter loser hear and jab at the Republicans but I must tip my hat to Republicans because they got the votes.

The born again Christians put Bush over the top in many states. Meanwhile the Dumbacratic party counted on the wave of first time voters and people under 25. Maybe if the voting polls were to coincide with the TRL countdown Kerry would have won in a landslide. To say that your secret weapon is a generation of people who's last vote was for Cindy to be prom queen is as bad an idea as a Dukakis photo op.

During the broadcast there were the exit poll statistics that I feel are as believable as a woman telling her dress size. Those stats were a funnel of percentages that only distracted the audience from the fact that there was no new information to tell. So of the 25% of Protestants that own minivans and two dogs, an overwhelming 72% voted for Bush. Of the 72% of the Protestant minivan driving dual dog owners, amazingly 47% had velcro shoes on. When someone gives a statistic I initially don't believe them because it is just like when a friend says they have a new girlfriend or boyfriend and all you can say is "alright" yet all you can think is "I'll believe it when I see it."

The only shining moment was when Barack Obama won and then just about the rest of the Senate went Republican. I really like this guy and look forward to seeing what he will do in the coming years. This was his first big election and he was such a favorite that long time hopefuls needed his endorsement to win. He's kind of like Ben Roethlesburger, except well, not a football player.

I am still frustrated. There is this whole new hybrid of disappointment and fear that has been planted last night. I am not talking about Bush's next term (fearing the inevitable is just pointless). I looked at the Democratic Party to see who was left. In four years from now the Congress and House will probably still be in the GOP and we will still be in Iraq and we will still be color coding our holidays and vacation spots. However, the worse thing I can imagine is that the sour puss that sold out her roots to move and be a NY senator will run in 2008.

The worse part about Kerry losing is that Hillary Clinton will be running for president even sooner. There is only one way to ensure Republican tenure for years like having this woman try and take charge. I have no problem to a woman president, because I know it won't happen until I am either dead or waking up only for pills and Matlock. There is no way to discourage her either because some genius had to say if you can make it in NY then you can make it anywhere.

There is always a silver lining to be found about a given situation. Perhaps the silver lining about this election is that I have learned that I should stop making new friends that are under 25, unless they have recently found Jesus- again.

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