Ain't Too Proud to Shut Up

So much has happened in the past few days that I am uncertain to what extent I should speak. Last week I came to the realization that city or suburb, I hate parades. I was woken up to the loud and proud Puerto Rican community storming the avenue like there was an opening at shortstop.

There is something to be said about the way they demonstrate their cultural pride. Their is no subtlety to being Puerto Rican. Not even will the standard mini flag from the mirror do in such a case. Bring out the big honkin' flag that would be soaring atop the capital building. But where does one put such a large obstruction of vision? The hood, maybe. How about making your children hold the flagpole out the window as you cruise the city. Papi is just so proud of you.

I don't know if there is any other purpose of the parade but to interfere with other people's plans. No park use, no regular street use, no sleeping in until 9:30. I was woken by honking at 8:30am. ON A SATURDAY! I live on a sidestreet. Who comes down such a minor road? "We must make sure the WHOLE city knows of our great culture." Hey newsflash buddy: We all can hear the subwoofers coming from two blocks away. Great, great culture indeed.

No one can argue the pride message of the parade, now the tact and diplomacy yes, Same thing goes for any parade. I don't care. St. Patrick's Day get off the street you drunks. Parades are used to maintain the image and legacy of a culture. God forbid someone come up with a more efficient display of middle child syndrom.

I come off smug about this because parades are just like festivals and zoos. I always get stuck inbetween to women that make the Fridge look dainty and they stink to high heaven. There are a collection of people that don't bathe regularly, they go to the free events and walk slow and block 2/3 of the walkway with an ass that could stop a cannon ball. All a parade will do is shed light on all the stereotypes we use. Parades: Keeping grandpa's jokes applicable.

The level of pride and arrogance about one's culture just makes me realize that infact that I am proud and times arrogant- of my cultural modesty. I need no flag, no parade, no sticker on my car to let people know where I never visited. I am American, that works good enough for me.