Monday, February 28, 2005

Second to None

I left work at 7:15 tonight. I felt good about the work ethic, the determination, the struggle. Then I got the call from my mom. I expected the news today but it still didn't amass until I was there. Today my sister and brother in law, became parents for the second time. What makes this a great story is that one- this is their second straight intentional child, and two I got to see her on the first day.

I have been animate about the singel bachelor life for quite some time. That may very well be possible but I tell you nothing compells another like the immense tribute to eachother like the next generation. About five hours ago I was clueless. I get it now. I can't really explain it now but it honestly moved me. This moment could very well have been the welcome mat to a world I have been resisting only to be resisting something.

Perhaps the predetermined title of Godfather (it's ok do your Brando) made this moment sweeter. I am sure that it was that I was there. I now realize what I missed when my nephew was born. I can't wait to teach her the first prank to pull on her mom.

Second to None

Natural glances birth new chances
proving fait is faith in
two for one sacrifice
solitary blinks invert
the wood work of hope
tomorrow's laughter hugs
unconditional echoes of nature's inspiration
never comparable
a moment's peace is now
wrapped in heaven's glow
second to none

Congratulations Lisa, Eddie

Sunday, February 27, 2005

This Week's Shows

So it begins. Another week. Well here's something to look forward to.

Tuesday: Open Mic Comedy @ Island's ( a most needed return to one of the best rooms in Chiland) 3856 N. Ashland 8:30 start. Free

Wednesday: Micetro Improv (competitive improv, audience can play too!) 1802 Berenice (Lincoln & Berenice, walk to the end of Berenice) 8pm start- $6 for actors, $10 for day jobbers. BYOB

Saturday: Inseam Asylum (DEBUT SHOW! Improv comedy by 2 tall guys- a new recipe for laughter I believe) 4210 N Lincoln 10pm start- $10 (I think it may be $8) BYOB

Sunday: The Second City Improv Class Showcase (Level D performance, games similar to Who's Line...) 1616 N Wells. 2pm- Free.

I really would love to see you all at all of these but know that you are busy folks. Spread the word too please.

Contact me with any questions.

Oscar Picks

Tonight is the night for the Oscars. TIme for me to stake my claim for who I think will win. Now I unfortunately will rely upon the politics of Hollywood more than the films themself since I didn't see all of them.

Actor- Lead Foreign Language Film
Jamie Foxx- Ray The Chorus

Actor- Supporting Makeup
Alan Alda- The Aviator The Passion of the Christ

Actress- Lead Music (score)
Hilary Swank- Million Dollar Baby The Passion of the Christ

Actress- Supporting Music (song)
Cate Blanchett- The Aviator "Look to your Path" The Chorus

Animated Feature Best Picture
The Incredibles Million Dollar Baby

Art Direction Short Film (animated)
The Aviator Gopher Broke

Cinemetography Short Film (live action)
House of Flying Daggers 7:35 in the morning

Costume Design Sound Editing
Lemony Snickets Spider-Man2

Directing Sound Mixing
The Aviator Ray

Documentary Visual Effects
Super Size Me I, Robot

Documentary Short Writing (adapted screenplay)
Sister Rose's Passion Finding Neverland

Film Editing Writing (original screenplay)
Million Dollar Baby (Hotel Rwanda)

I will thank the Academy later.

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Yesterday's Over

A little fyi. Some people may be concerned that I am not pursuing the dream. Well, today I submitted for a stand up showcase for a summer festival. Additionally, by March 1 I will know if I will be performing at the student stage at Second City for stand up or improv. By this week's end I should know also my status for the writing program. Once I make it into this level, I will be working with other students to write a sketch review that will run for eight weeks on the student stage.

I will keep this blog short. I found the apartment. It's in Logan Square. I find out in 13.5 hours if it is mine. I must go now and compulsively think about what I can't control. At least this time it's not about a girl.

Pride in Progress- hometown motto, genuis, just genius.

Sunday, February 20, 2005

This Weeks Shows

Monday- Crush (Halsted/Diversy) 8:30pm start. $2 burgers and new material by yours truly
Tuesday-Islands (Irving Park/Ashland) 8:30pm start 2-4-1 appetizers new material
Wednesday-Barrel of Laughs (oak lawn) 8:30pm start

Friday-Last Night Premiere (VIP invite only sorry Access Hollywood)

Coming March 5th- The Inseam Asylum. Improv Comedy @ The Cornservatory Theater in Chicago
March 6- Second City Level D Showcase

Hope to see you there.

When Should You Shut Up?

When the world stops, and reverses it's axis. I was out at new hire training for work and there were plenty of people ready to suck the farts off any superior there. I shold have known the week would end well as it started on the tile just below the urinal. I used mapquest to get to the location and believe it or not, mapquest was wrong. Just slightly though. I was told to go East when I should have gone West. Easy mistake, I forgive you mapquest.

The place I went to was up in Deer Park. If you are unaware of the location it is where the highway ends/starts. There is a sign that says its over. I always thought highways were infinitely long and I never would see the end. It was as disappointing when I saw where the sidewalk ended too. Yes, that is a Shel Silverstein reference.

Upon my thirty minute late arrival, I had to knock on the door to enter. Just before the door was opening, I prayed. I prayed for another moron to walk up right behind me. Not quite. I entered to find all seats were taken so I got to stand for about 10 minutes before we started with the ever important ice breaking information.

There were some people there that I truly wish the best for. Others I expect it. When broken into groups for some challenges that are to make the higher ups go hard with joy, our group was interesting. Specifically we had to make a commercial for all to watch about the company. Hello, this is something teams take weeks or months to create. We were given 30 minutes. This was the one part of the week that I knew going into it that I would not lose to anyone.

I stood within the group listening to ideas on how to make this commercial. Never could I have expected the caliber of ideas. One girl, bless her heart, opened her mouth and purged her credibility. "I think we should start with something like a cartwheel and then say "Now that we've got your attention..." and then present the lines of business."

A cartwheel. She was serious about it. I stood there letting that soak in my mind while for some ungodly reason the rest of the team was on the cartwheel wagon. Then one of the teammates looked at me, as I for the first time there, was silent for three straight minutes. Nothing, not even a sigh was let out by myself.

Confronted with the situation of the cartwheel, I was honest and told them that I would prefer something that would make people laugh with not at us. Within moments I came up with a premise and we tweaked it. We won the competition and the went on to win the whole contest. Fortunately, our hardwork and drive was rewarded with a $15 gift card to Barnes and Noble.

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Showtime @ The Breadline Theater

WEDNESDAY 2/15/05 @ 8pm the Improv troupe Micetro will be performing in Chicago. I am apart of them and would love a big turnout as the show is being reviewed by Metro Mix from the Chicago Tribune.

Here's the details:

1802 Berenice (Chicago)
$6 actors $10 for people with day jobs

1 hr show

If you're driving- 90E to Irving Park Rd E. Irving to Ravenswood. Rt on Ravenswood to Grace. Rt on Grace to Ravenswood. Rt on Ravenswood. Immediate left on Berenice.

From the city- take the brown line to Irving Park and follow the aforementioned directions from Irving Park.

Travel is about 5 minutes by feet from Brown line stop.

$1 PBR after the show.


It has come to my attention for the very first time of my life that someone actually admitted of dreaming about that way. That way. A way that no longer is unthought of. Let me add the fudge to the sundae of sexuality here. A woman, young lady whatever, had a dream about me. That just proves that as lonely as I may feel, there is someone with a heart of charity thinking of me.

I have not even had the chance to speak with her about this matter. I know she knows this blog exists so someday this could make for an awkward chat, if her parents of a priest are around. Otherwise, I am sure it will be summed up with the catch-all 20-something suffix of ...but I was drunk.

So it got me thinking, of what she was thinking. Does she know that I am not too flexible? Was the floor used? Hardwood? Yeesh, I hope padded carpet. Does she think that I am in shape? I certainly hope that pipedream is the least detailed. I know that I have made her laugh quite a bit and would only beg that all hilarity was not experienced while in the buff.

Now to you missy. Who told you to go tell people that you are putting yourself to rest with racey images of a lanky 6'5" freckled dreamboat? My own mind has gone to town and back over the thought of the situation. Your dream has now caused residual dreaming on my part. Unfortunately, when I confront you on the expectations from your dream in mine, I wake up.

Somehow even in REM I have become blue balled.

Sunday, February 06, 2005


There may be some people that read this and are not apart of the fine midwestern mediocrity that I so am use to. It has come to my attention that the tollway system in this fine state has doubled its tolls for non-I-Pass users. That will hurt who? Just Mr. & Mrs. Tommy Tourist. Welcome to Illinois now pay double than what we do. I have been to all borders of Illinois and by the sight alone it is not worth $2 to enter this state. However, in many cases it is not the fee of entering Illinois it is the rate of rescue from Indiana, Wisconsin, Iowa, or Missouri.

Prior to my purchase of the I-Pass I was a change tossing mofo. Recent testimony has proven that I have fo'd up five times. What the state does for tollway violators is they wait until the fifth violation to notify and summon fees to be paid. Be careful, IL can pull you into court for violations that date back in 2002. Mine were all in a matter of a couple weeks. Efficiency is my forte.

I used to think that I could do the whole lawyer thing. Nope. I am wrong. When one's defense is built upon the profound statement of "the law is just illogical" it tends to be an uphill climb. Plus the beauty of the system is that as long as a crazy law is in place you must abide by it, and then challenge to have it ammended. I don't have to time to urinate away on the steps of legislative clout. I fear the dark side of the far right trying to infect my mind and tempt me with trickle down economics.

Now back to the case at hand. While defending myself, my voice cracked at least three times, completely negating the blue pinstripe suit I was wearing. The tollway rep had a gap between her two front teeth that I could illegally park a Cadallac between. It bothered me, so I figured to note.

The hearing officer was merciless toward me, mainly since the military yahoo before me pretty much sweared to her face. It's like not being able to go out because your sister or brother messed up at school. Trickle down judicial rulings. My defense seemed so logical and solid that I should have known of my iminent robbing. I will never forget (barring Alzheimers) the look on the officer's face when I concluded. "Is that- your defense?" I might as well got a GED and saved thousands of dollars and hours of work.

My fines were not overturned, not a single one. Each toll violation is acompanied by a $20 fine. My final cost was $101.85. To make sure I felt the fullest level of spite for my governmental process, the hearing officer ruled that I must pay my bill and "Good Luck." Apparently I have been chosen to leave middle Earth to find the lost bit of decency from my state.

I then took my rage out on my mom during a peak time cell call, while driving with one hand and hitting every strategically placed pot hole on my way to the wrong on ramp for the tollway. Thank you Illinois, I thought I was supposed to be first jaded by government when my social security kicked in, you've educated me more than life itself. If at all possible, please raise property taxes too, wherever I move to.