I went out on Saturday to a suburban club called North Beach. Now two important things to know about the patrons that frequent NB are one the guys dress in the styles from a ten month old GQ and the girls well apparently butt cleav is still in.
Upon my arrival I learned of important music industry news. There was an urban legend that Limp Bizkit was making a come back. Well, Fred Durst has become so desperate for attention that he appeared at North Beach wearing a flaming shirt. No really, the shirt had flames and this dill-hole even had the red ball cap backwards. Like a Limp Bizkit cd on the shelf, he stayed in one place and no one noticed him.
My next myth to dispell is that even the d.d. can get a phone number of an attractive person. As I sat at the I.T.O.S (Intoxicated Table of Sausage) I would make blatant eye contact with a lady caller from across the way. She then would respond. Whether it be a glance, shift of eye brows, or walking away no is probably the only word that never needs to actually be spoken.
The word on the street is that young women bartenders can keep a tab straight from other tabs. If they weren't so worried about the lamp shade of a mini showing the celophane thong. When confronted with the fact that I did not order nearly the price on the tab, sweetness went sour on me for questioning the bill. Fortunately, lady hotpants fixed the tab and apologized for the bitter box.
The last myth is that only lonely, desperate guys stay to near last call hoping to get whatever falls in their lap. The guys are easied to spot as they are typically surrounded by...ok they are just about five feet from a group of girls that they don't know. Slowly they move closer foolishly choosing to execute the worst moves possible- "the creep." There are plenty of lonely gals lingering around for "one more drink." Catching one of these fish is quite possible, finding a clean one is another story.