Monday, December 20, 2004

Sublimal Messages From MSN

I happen to use hotmail for email because I am that old school. Upon signing out they redirect me to, a slightly more credible source of news. By credible I am comparing it with my other sources of news, VH1 News, BET News, Fox, and of course E! News Live.

Quick tangent. VH1 News is slightly pertinent if you are still waiting for someone to tell you that your horizontal striped sweater in style. BET News is great. The top news story typically goes like "topping our news today, Harlem is still a shit hole, no thanks to white people. In a related story the NHL is still a joke, no thanks to black people." Fox, has Geraldo. E! News live. Finally a news program that can really make housewives appreciate their spectacular life choices.

Back to the message at hand. MSN has each day about six suggested searches that cover such a random spectrum they must be connected. Here are the suggested searches and then I shall try to within six degrees of separation to find their relation to eachother.

Suggested Searches
News: Flu pandemic
Images: Polar bears
Winter solstice
Ice skating
Hybrid cars

With the winter solstice near approaching, all the infected polar bears have made their way down from the melting polar ice caps. These very cola loving bears seem to have an inverse hatred for the ice skating Canucks. After seeing little Dale fall in the Hudson the Yahheydears decide to cut their losses and run to safety in their 17 horse-powered hybrid cars. While grabbing the door handle, papa bear rips the coat and beard off Mrs. Yahheydear. Unable to afford the heat feature in the hybrid the family spins out and eventually dies from the flu pandemic.

Well, that was captivating yesno? They're not all winners folks. If you have been reading for that past couple entries you should know that.

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