Monday, October 18, 2004

Life is a Highway, Pay Toll Ahead.

Today I went into the city for an interview with a staffing agency and it went well but my compulsive analytical side will make me insane by the end of this column. I sure hope I get the job that I was told about but I by the time I got back to my car something came back into play.

There was a voice mail regarding my audition I did for Murder Mystery Productions. One of the dinner theater groups in the area. Well aparently my audition was good enough. This woman Kim called to ask if I would do a show on this Saturday. Now for those wondering this is in fact is a paying job, last time I checked.

Thus my official acting career begins. It is kind of funny that to pay my dues I have to die. I'll wait to I get invited back to let people know the details since I will be probably dead within the first thirty minutes. A momentus occaison, crowned by my car being at an even 25000 miles. You never know how far you have to go until you arrive.

I then get on the road where I soon loose some faith in humanity and the educational system of country. No one seems to know exactly how quick it takes to go half a mile to an exit. After that twenty minute delay, I am cut off by a mint green Jaguar. I do nothing rude to retaliate since I believe in kharma. Most likely someone will key their car in the parking lot of a grocery store for taking two spaces anyway. Plus it was mint green. Anyone that buys a mint green Jaguar clearly has issues.

During a traffic jam we are surrounded by the same cars for a long time. We create a drama between a random car that wants to merge ahead of us. As time passes the artificial animosity rises as though if they get ahead of us they will go eat your dinner. Let me introduce you to the metallic blue Audi (clearly luxury car owners need to back off of me). Apparently when you buy a luxury car, the rights to the highway come along with it. He not only cuts me off but then slows as he gets in front of me. I vow to pass him and do, but like a photo of an ex he shows up out of nowhere.

He zips into the toll booth ahead of me. Throws his change in, one coin at a time incase he won't have to pay the hole 40 cents. Money is tight for him I presume, car insurance, payments, plus I hear a penis enlargment proceedure is not cheap either. Well he opens his car door to pick up change. He didn't drop any! The cheapo scabbed 35 cents off the ground and sped off.

If life is a highway and death is the exit ramp I certainly hope heaven is more satisfying than a rest stop.

1 comment:

  1. So Maxwell,

    Remember that time you called my cell phone and said I should call you back, we should hang out some time, yada yada yada? Well, its generally wise to leave your contact information in that same voicemail. So if you were wondering why I never called you back, its becuase I don't know where to call you at (I do, however, know WHAT to call you...). Anyway, call me back again, with your phone number this time, or send me an email at At least that way I can hit reply and get back to you.

    Peace in the Middle East,