Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Red Rover

Nothing lets off steam like ten minutes of so of jumping rope while trying to follow an episode of Law and Order. No matter how bad my day may have been, the fines in NYC have it worse. So this is my second rope session and I like it. I can tell I jump lopsided since I am building blisters on the inside of my big toe.

I used to think jumping rope is lame, but now that I have one with the weights in it- definitely hardcore. It gives me reason to quit the Y. Then again I should go once or twice just to see if the women there are more out going than in other facilities. Picking up someone at the gym is something that has such visual pros and cons.

While there you get to see they don't want to either get fat, or feel ugly. Advantage health club. However, there are so many reasons not to talk while there- headphones, heart rate, closed captioning of Access Hollywood. Most women look good at the gym- ok most women that renew their membership look good. Advantage health club. The double negative here is the sweat factor. Shaking hands, dripping wherever, and worse of all back sweat. Mandy Moore herself could approach me but if she was all sweaty backed I would have to ask her to hit the shower.


So on my recent drives I have come across something that makes me feel smarter than watching a boxing match. There are people selling M&M's with peanuts. Not even kids- grown pathetic people. Excuse me sir, what are those delectable looking chocolates in the yellow wrapper? I have NEVER seen them before.

No longer do I trust children's fundraisers. Somewhere behind each cubscout popcorn, girl scout samoa, or issue of Streetwise there is a corrupt person taking the generosity and mocking it. Do you really believe your standing in traffic will compell me to buy chocolate? Only if I see someone having a diabetic attack.

Now if there were Starburst or Payday maybe I could agree on supporting their now commendable efforts for alcohol.


I had honey nut Cheerios the other day. First time ever. In my life. There are so many things that I have been witholding from and I don't know why. I tried to then put banana on the Cheerios. That tasted all sorts of horrible. .The gooeyness of the potassium rod and the crunchiness of honey coated oat rings makes me wish for my cholesterol to never be high enough I have to do that again.

If you think ham and cheese is boring- toast it. Suddenly ham and cheese is back to being #1 in the lunch meat locker room. Thank you Sally Skillet and Molly Margerine for making it all possible. I also now know I really don't have a spatula, I thought I misplaced it. Nope I had to use a mixing spoon. Not nearly as effective.

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