Monday, November 07, 2005

Worth Fighting For

Right now I have plenty to be riled up about. I guess I will start with the good. Recent commercials indicate that there is a revolution in the midst. Shortly the world will be able to finally purchase a lift up bra without padding! Thank you Victoria's Secret. I can't tell you how discouraging it is to pop the top and realize you've been bamboozeld. Ladies, you want an honest man. We don't stuff our pants, unless we're in a band. Please realize false advertisement takes more than the wind out our sails.

Of all things to revolt about, bras are a godsend. We currently are being ravaged with hurricanes, international warfare, and a new Madonna album but finally our cries for some natural support for our inner vixen are being answered. Someone had to step up and be the mature one. Someone needed to say "Hey, you! Stop shooting over oil and trivial religious beliefs that aren't supposed to impact government! Look at these knockers!"

Sure the whole concept of a push up is like bending the truth- they're sagging, more than you and we would like. But hey, men get a pill and women get underwire draped in satin for $45. The irony of it all is the more we are kidding ourselves the more honest we really are.

This is a revolution of effort. Breasts are trying to work their magic one more time to intice someone the honest that was once there, covered up in a cardigan of stale ideals. It's moments like now that we must embrace the movement. Today's headlines show us that by concealing our beauty we are forcing the ugliest side show- greed. How that area is the only place on Earth that would rather make a buck than get some baffels me. A long time ago all the men in the middle east must have been stood up simultaenously causing a sexual backlash. It's not religious persecution, its centuries of blue balls.

It has been said you are liberal until you recieve your first paycheck. I am convinced you are conservative until you have a glimmer of cleavage.

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