Thursday, January 05, 2006

Hype Sells

I saw King Kong about a week ago and I must say it was the most beautiful waste of my time in years. It's the new Titanic. The film takes about one hour to find the dumb monkey. Then was Peter decides to do is take twenty minutes from Jurassic Park and splice it in so that we can see, man, ape, and dinosaurs. Great job.

Besides every cliff looking like a copy from the trilogy of the Fellowship of the Ring, Peter Jackson's version just let the sour notes linger too long. Cliche little guy needs moral values spelled out by token black man. All principle characters avoid danger while others are picked off like bugs, and so on.

My big gripe of this all is Adrian Brody. Whoever thought manic depressive jumbo nosed drama man queens were the next big thing should turn off Bravo and let actors with testicles play the men. Now, I did like how poorly he was treated in the movie. However, I am still waiting for some bombshell to find my "inner beauty" and look past the protruding ears and freckles. It appeared as though his nose was getting bigger in each scene.

My question is whose nose is more gangly, awkward, or simply bigger? Adrian Brody or Ashlee Simpson? Imagine if they procreated. The kid would have a schnoz the size of a door knob. I really shouldn't judge since afterall, my nostrils are contoured up making me look like I can score blow quicker than Robert Downey Jr.

Robert Downey Jr, now there's an actor. America's alley cat, but hell of an actor.

1 comment:

  1. Anonymous9:10 PM

    I can smoke a cigar in the rain.